Our fathers are the first representations of the masculine energy in our lives. As children we learn from them how worthy of love, time and attention we are based on their presence, attention and affection in our lives.
the impact of an absent father
When our fathers are absent, emotionally unavailable, abusive or simply lost in their own world we pick up the message as children that we are not important, that we are unworthy or that we are simply not enough. This causes us to spend our lives searching for our fathers’ love in every partner we meet trying to prove ourselves to them, vying for their attention, wanting them to choose us and feeling a deep mistrust in their ability to show up for us, to hold us, to have our backs and to support us.
SEEKING unavailable partners
When we approach relationships in this way, what we are actually searching for is not love but repair. We subconsciously hope that the person we desire will choose us, love us and heal the part of us that feels like we’re not enough. This creates an unhealthy cycle of chasing unavailable partners whether that means they are halfway across the world, taken (aka married men), or unable to meet us in the depth of our emotions.
attracting the right partner
By healing the father wound, we can come to release this need for validation, allowing us to step into a space of self confidence & reclaim our inherent worth. When we know that we are deserving of love without needing to perform, this frees us from chasing the unattainable. Instead we begin to choose partners who are willing to meet us in our needs & desires.
From this place of inner worthiness, we are no longer attracted to the highs and lows of unhealthy relational dynamics with people who are hot and cold or unable to commit. Instead we find ourselves being drawn to people who can give us what we actually need and want in relationships.
Are you ready to let go of the rollercoaster ride of relational highs and lows with unavailable partners?
Click the link below to jump on a free discovery call with me:
https://tidycal.com/businessdevelopmentandsomatictherapy/client-application-call
I promise to be there with you every step of the way.
Your Somatic Life Coach.
Kristen Alexis